Misplaced accents.

Russell Crowe has been taking a lot of stick recently for the accent he employs in his latest film, Robin Hood. Though, interestingly, the commentators differ on whether it’s supposed to be a Yorkshire accent, an Irish accent or even in one scribe’s opinion a Salford accent like that of the Gallagher brothers. Not, one notes, one from Nottinghamshire which, according to the version of the legend I was brought up  on, is the county from which he hailed. Most, however, dismiss his speech as a mish-mash of regional accents. And that I would have thought is the point. The vast majority of the film’s prospective audience won’t be living in the UK. As long as the actor has an ‘English’ as opposed to an American, Australian, or South African accent that’ll be good enough.    

    Owing to the Americanisation of  British culture, like most English people  I can distinguish between, say, an accent from the southern states and one from the Bronx. But I imagine there are as many different accents in Australia as there are in the US or the UK. Am I aware of them? No. Is any non-Australian? I very much doubt it. Having lived in Italy for seven years I notice the difference in the way people sound when we venture out of Marche to Lazio. But before I moved here I thought all Italians spoke like Gordon Richards playing Captain Bertorelli in ‘Allo, ‘Allo. 

    What do Australia, Italy and the UK have in common? They’re all minor players on the world stage. How do they differ? Australia was never a world power, both Italy and Britain in their day were the most powerful countries in the world. But only the British think they are  still of much importance to anyone living outside their foggy little islands. Because its eastern seaboard was once ruled from London for a couple of  hundred years, we imagine that we have a special relationship with the US which extends beyond fellating the President of the day. The Italians ruled Britain for twice that length of time; does that entitle them to special consideration by HMG? No merely abuse for being part of ‘the continentals’ conspiracy’ to threaten Britain’s mythical independence. So although the world would think there was something wrong if Tennessee Williams’ Big Daddy were played by an actor speaking with a Californian accent, it’s unaware that Eton educated Bond should sound like Boris Johnson rather than a Scottish milkman. America’s culture has a global reach, Britain’s doesn’t.

   A final thought. If Russell Crowe were to use the authentic accent these critics claim he should,  he’d be speaking a northern variant of Middle English and no-one apart from English Lit graduates would understand a word he said. Somehow I don’t think: ‘I is ful wight, god waat, as is a raa; By goddes herte he sal nat scape us bathe. Why nadstow pit the capul in the lathe?  Il-​hayl, by god, Aleyn, thou is a fonne!’ would pull the punters in.